“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Can you imagine a world where kindness was the guiding principle?  Kindness arises with an intention to be kind followed by a conscious choice to act.  In a study at Stanford University, researchers delivered an 11 minute “loving kindness” exercise to students and discovered that they rated strangers as “kinder” and more similar to themselves than those not given the exercise.

Every day we can choose to relate to others from positions of anger, greed, and hatred or from kindness and compassion. Becoming aware of how you treat yourself is key to seeing how you relate to others.  It is important to balance kind to yourself with kindness to others.

I agree with His Holiness the Dalai Lama: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  Studies confirm that compassion towards self and others is a key tool for happiness.

There is a World Kindness Movement that started in Japan.  “The purpose of World Kindness Day is to look beyond ourselves, beyond the boundaries of our country, beyond our culture, our race, our religion and realize we are citizens of the world. As world citizens we have a commonality, and must realize that if progress is to be made in human relations and endeavors, if we are to achieve the goal of peaceful coexistence, we must focus on what we have in common.”

Kindness….

• Gives you a natural high by releasing endorphins
• Reduces stress and feelings of depression
• Increases ones sense of self-worth
• Increases happiness and feelings of well being
• Dissipates feelings of anger
• Can decrease awareness and intensity of physical pain
• Connects us with others

Have you had a kindness shown to you? Pass it on…..

Physical contact may lessen depression, lower blood pressure, and even improve immunity.

Mark Rapaport, MD, used to wonder why his wife treated herself to so many massages. “She’d get tons of them, whereas I’d had maybe 10 in my entire life,” says the chairman of the department of psychiatry and behavioral neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. “But massage is a billion-dollar industry in the United States, which got me curious: Is there something to this beyond the fact that it feels good?”

Rapaport’s curiosity led to a study, published last fall, that looked at 53 healthy adults who received one of two types of touch treatments. Blood tests revealed that those who had a Swedish massage with moderate pressure experienced decreases in stress hormones and increases in white blood cells, indicating a boost in the immune system. Meanwhile volunteers who had a “light touch” treatment showed higher levels of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding. Based on the findings, Rapaport believes that massage might be effective in treating inflammatory and autoimmune conditions.

The Cedars-Sinai study is part of a growing body of research that shows a link between many forms of touch—from massage to hand-holding—and improved health. A study from the University of North Carolina found that sitting in close contact with a partner for 10 minutes lowered blood pressure in women. Other research has found that physical contact can trigger a boost in serotonin, a natural antidepressant.

Tiffany Field, PhD, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine, recommends getting a “regular dose” of some type of touch lasting at least a few minutes each day, although 10 to 15 minutes is optimal (see Make Contact, next page). This is true even for those who tend to guard their personal space. “Most touch aversion is to social touch; it’s the unpredictability of it that bothers people,” says Field.

Rapaport has gained such an appreciation for the power of touch, he’s starting a new trial to investigate the effects of massage on anxiety and has made the topic a personal research focus. “We’re finding biological changes associated with a single massage session,” he says. “That’s saying something.”